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sometimes you just have to put your head down pray and hope someone is listening. i love my life and hate my life at the same time. i need more than i have. i need adventure. i think think Europe is calling for me stronger than before.

so last night i stayed up crying all night do to things in my life. i have had a hard life. between parents trying to turn you against the other and being pushed down stairs for finding out the truth of their past. I was crying because i have an amazing guy in my life that i never thought i would have. he asked me to marry him and of course i said yes. im the happiest/ most depressed girl in the world. i have no fun in my life. it is really dull. and all i can think about is if he is enough or do i need more. i have a plan to go to Europe for a year and hike the Carpathian Mountains. Highest point

Peak Gerlachovský štít

Elevation 2,655 m (8,711 ft)

Dimensions

Length 1,700 km (1,100 mi)

it is the most beautiful place in the world but i have a feeling if i go i wont come back. but im drawn to this place. i have to go. the day i go i have a feeling something will be waiting for me. i hope to find it. so i will keep crying at night till my life is filled with what i want. what i feel i need.